jonnyboy86's Xanga

Friday, March 02, 2007

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 20:09:13 GMT

I have lost my defftion of who I am that's why I'm not me cause I don't know I am to be.....I wish I knew how to get back to myself or had the number to call for a reminder......

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 02:43:05 GMT

Not to shure what to wright about cause now I can't realy put my feelings into words cause there all muddy and meshed up...but I do wish that I could just put it all out there...but it would only be over looked

Monday, January 01, 2007

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 01:59:28 GMT

Another new year... to either to mess up or become better than years past ..... let hope it's the better choice <3 Jonnie

Friday, December 29, 2006

Fri, 29 Dec 2006 01:34:42 GMT

Messy December

Is it to soon to move away?

To give up all traces of the attempts

of repairs to let that rusty boat just go

so sink to the bottom of this little puddle

never really knew how deep it was

till I jump right in!

And now I'm drenched in this regret

my clothes hang limp but hold tight

like me I hold on to damn tight to this

where's the sun to dry me off?

Call me crazy and say I lie but I know

what going on all the time

don't try to refuse this truth

come on baby tell me was it worth the attempt to sa-a-ve you

So I'm drenched in this horrible mess

what is a boy like me to....do?

When I love theres only so much that I won't do

Messy December.

Call me Crazy Call me crazy

Come on and say it was worth it all

that we felt ?

Why is it always a messy December

Monday, December 11, 2006

Mon, 11 Dec 2006 02:28:21 GMT

And I now understand how to enjoy what you give me

this is sweet when you say my name with your heart

it makes want to curl up and tell you that this better than the last time

that we are what they write about

those girls and there sad piano cords

boy's and there lonely guitar song...

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Thu, 23 Nov 2006 04:50:24 GMT

Bee Sting (there's no honey in the hive)

A bee sting

Isn't?

He's the stinger and you are the flesh

All the swelling and the burning

He got the target

Now will you forget?

A bee sting

Isn't?

You're all alone

Just you and your sore

Still you stay in the hive we're you met that fateful night

Now swell till you can't see reality

Just swell with the thought that he can be more

You'll die knowing he was yours only once-memories are all you've got

Where's the honey?

There isn't any, what were you thinking?

It's all stinging- it's all that's left

It's a bee sting

Yes it is

Don't worry honey the hive will be there

With memories to keep you fat and satisfied

But you won't content.

By: Jonathan Belgarde

and I am a ticking bomb...fun

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 00:52:15 GMT

Sometimes the Heart and the mind are like Oil and Water they just don't mix... and I weav a web only to leave my self tangled.....<3 Jonnie

Defending and protecting....hoping they listen

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 22:32:15 GMT

I want to say this now

People have been talking about my weight no I do not have a eating disorter or is any thing else wrong with me...ok so what if I have lost weight I am only at 165 and I am 5'11 and that more than ok for my height and frame.... but do you know how long I hated being a fat kid and being made fun of for it and when I finaly got my ass in gear to take care of my self and try to be healthy every one gets in a tizzy.... and don't you think it hurts to hear that grantted you might be concered but you know me and I would get help..... I watched my oldest sister struggle with it years ago and saw how much she went through and how much it can hurt you and your body...yes I know some of this is choppy but I am piss to all hell...so if you see me and tell me I look good I'll say thank you but for those that say nothing but I have some thing wrong with me ....fuck you

Have a great night and oh Happy Halloween <3 Jonnie

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 02:32:43 GMT

Yes, the rumor is true I have a job....at Old Navy...so for those that read this come visit meand such <3<3<3<3 Jonnie

Ohh ha!

Sat, 30 Sep 2006 02:33:40 GMT

Paint the town red they say?... I did one step better!!!!!!! <3 Jonnie